Transcript

Today's Transcript

Sad Sacks s01e53 - Bad Life Gord

Poolside next to a man with a potato sack on his head ...
James: How's parent hood treating ya?
Parent: It's great. As long as I keep this think on I can't see any of Gordie's mischief.

James: Well, he seems to be a helluva swimmer.
James reacts badly ...
James: He sure can splash about

Parent: James?

Blog

Johnny's Rant

I can't remember a time when I couldn't swim. Being in water is one of my favourite things. Like most Canadians, I imagine, I think about travelling to some tropical island with clear water and plenty of fish and just staying there.

When I was a kid I invented this game in my buddy Scotty's pool called 'Dead Man Walking'. It was pretty simple, and extremely stupid. You would get a bunch of dumbbell weights, tie them in knots around your waist, and then walk down the gentle slope from the shallow end into the deep end. At this point you would have about 90 seconds (or however you could hold your breath) to untie ALL of the knot and breach the surface, or panic which would give you temporary superhuman strength and allow you to swim to the top. Walking back up the slope was impossible. We never developed a rescue system, or signals for if we needed help. we just did it and kept adding weight until we got bored.

Frankly I'm surprised I lived through childhood. #GoldenGod